My story. Riches to rags to survival .overcomer.

Trigger warning: please note -the following stories contain sensitive material about sexual and dating violence and may cause physiological and psychological symptoms for people with anxiety disorders including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
These are first-hand experiences as told by women affected by gender-based violence. It is unedited and published with their full consent. Please read these stories with empathy and know that these women are survivors.
If you need help with gender-based violence, contact the GBV command center on 0800 428 428
If you want to share your story, contact us at info@1000women.co.za

 

My story. Riches to rags to survival .overcomer.
Born 17 january 1971.living with my grandmother and aunts.this is my
Dads family.my granny reared me from 3months to age of 6years
Old.grew up in a warm and loving home,with morals and values.i was
Taught to pray,my aunts sat with me with my home work,granny taught
Me to wash my ribbons and navy panty every afternoon coming from
School.every saturday we would go into town for shopping.g oo
Memories.
Then my story change:
One day a knock at the door a small boy comes in and fetches me.seeing
Him for the first time,im told his my brother.my .aunty cecilia preps me
To say that this is my brother and he is going to take to my mother,first
Time hearing i have a mom.confused at this news.anyway iwas
Taken to this lady who is my mom with this small boy.his all excited that
Im his sister and im all confused and ina daze.eventually i meet my
Mom.entering the house a rude awakening,house so full of kids and just
Not the home i come from totally different.
Introduction to my mom.
My aunt told me to tell my mom;quote,i love you but i don’t want to live
With you.my mom in rage smacked me nd swore at me language i did
Not know,i was beside myself iremember just crying.here my story
Change from riches to rags..so now im living in this house with a family i
Learnt to know at the age of six.then my mom married the man has now
And we move to mitchells plain,so im nineyeras old now by then,he was
A man that drank and always hit my mom,and this night he was drunk
My mom never came home she left us her five kids wth him in his
Drunken state.now only two of the kids was his,the three was from her
Previous relationships which i was one of them.
The sexual assault takes place;
He goes to the bathroom to bath he calls me to get into the bath with
Him,my older sister was outside at that time and’my three brothers were
Asleep . Im now in the bath with him.he starts touching me and
Instructing me to play with his penis,which at that point was hard and
Stiff.the bath water smells of dettol’his telling me how much he loves
Me and his not gonna hurt me,at that time i start crying.i hear my sister
Coming in waking up my brothers asking he where am i?eventually she
Hears me crying calls me by name pushes bathroom door open grabs me
Out of the bath runs with me just so wet to my moms sister down the
Road wheras my moms mother was also there. The next thing i know we
At police station,mitchells plains never had saps that time,so we at
Phlippi police station now,my mom arrived her hubby was picked
Up,nextday i was to go to saps and social worker,my mom stopped at a
Shop bought chocolate éclair sweets and lolliepops for me instructing
Me to say that what happened lastnght wastnt true.as a child i did what
She told me ad case was withdrawn.
My life takes a turn for the worse:
I lost my joy as a child .i wastnt that playful.my mom always use too verbal abuse me
After that incident.both my sister and i were called the n….. Word.my sister eventually
Ran away and she became a prostitde and i became promiscuios.a prostitude in my own
Way,went from one sexual relationship to another,iran away from home several times
Hating my mom.she never protrcted my sister and myself.saved thrice from gang rape,i
Was misundersttod a lot.i was called a n….i was told by my friends moms not to play
With mme bcos of my association with gangsters.if only someone aked me why i was
Behaving as such???Expelled eventually from school bcos of my behaior nd involvement
Wth gang members.and i was pregnant .so 16 pregant.17 gave birth to a beautiful girl
Baby from a gang leader ,he was sht dead when she was a year ol,by then i had another
Boyfrend 19 years old again pregant,different guy,now im on survival mode.family
Stopped believing in me,,just drinking partying ,living one plce to another.sleeping wth
Men jst for shelter and food for my kids.horrible time of my life
Overcomer;
Age of 22 my family decides to give me another chance.my dads sisters,these are the ones
I grew up with up.hope returns,they decided i move into the flat my granny and aunt
Lived in.i met a decent guy.not a gangster ddnt even smoke a cigarette.but my pain ,my
Rawness changed him towards me.all i ever knew was abuse,sex,drugs,alcohli couldn’t
Embrace love and affection which he gave me.he took me wth my whole baggage .two
Kids and brokeness.this was new to me.and i made him a monester,he ddnt abuse me
Physically but mentally,fincially and always cheating,he was always sharing me with
Another woman.just when learnt to love him,he treated me with no respect.by his
Auterous relationships.married him twice.we divorced for the second time.this whole
Ordeal has pushed me to work with young girls that has been misunderstood by thr
Promiscious behavior.i take time to listen to thr story,whr no one took time to listen to
Mine,i was judged,ridiculed called a liar by mom stil today she claims i made up the
Story,wheras her hubby aksed me forgivness in her prescence what he dd.
Way forward;
Wanti ng to work with young teenagers to hear ther stories,and to open safe haven for
These boys and girls.give self development programs,scheles.just giving them hope as i
Have been given a chance to live again.my motto;arise shine..you can.
Arise shine,you can…. Isaiah 60v1

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